A Word about the Weather in Miami

Orange Postman Gazette
Orange Postman Gazette

A Word about the Weather in Miami

(Whether or not we like it!)

OP, Errol D’Mint

Miami—The stormy weather patterns for the greater Miami area had played tricks on the local weather women who forecasted that Saturday, the 4th of December, would be different from Friday. Needless to say, they were correct—it was worse. I should have expected the weather to worsen due to the language offered by the local morning television weather women. Miami’s tropical storms, scheduled to dissipate on Saturday, were characterized with these words by our maidens of meteorology: ‘Pesky Storms,’ and the best, ‘Misty Rainfall.’

When Sunday arrived and the rain roared I could hear the lyrical changes in the song, “Moon Over Miami,” to Monsoon Over Miami: “Monsoon over Miami, rained on my friends and me…”

Those ‘Pesky Storms’ were such a nuisance on Monday that we had fish on the streets and it wasn’t even sunny. Let me clarify that statement by handing over the argument to those who believe in climate change: “You go down to Miami and when it’s flooding at high tide on a sunny day, fish are swimming through the middle of the streets,” President Obama said to Norah O’Donnell on CBS This Morning. Mr. President, on behalf of all Miamians who are usually self-absorbed, and now physically absorbed from the ‘Misty Rainfall,’ we unequivocally  accept the truth about climate change due to the wettest December to date.

Tuesday touted its own tempest, but if you think that on this fourth day Miamians and their fish-brethren were bothered, then you haven’t taken the expansive boat tour of Zoo Miami. The flooding caused fury at the zoo as many animals were at risk with the high water level. The walkways for visitors were a watershed and steps were taken to temporarily close Zoo Miami. Perhaps Groupon will offer Zoo Miami boat tours for their newly combined attractions: Asian River Life meets the Amazon and Beyond…and beyond…and beyond out to the fish on the streets.

Don’t fault me for being facetious in my editorial, but I am soaked to the bone from the rain. I blame those early morning weather women because when you’re poured on with a pile of pretty words which sugar-coated an otherwise soggy time, you become petulant.

On the bright side of a Wednesday afternoon I had time to reflect on our regular weather pattern: The four days of this unexpected rain during the expected dry period left Miamians slogging in a swamp, er, the original landscape. By the fifth day, the floods and the abysmal drizzle had finally disappeared in the Magic City. The maidens of meteorology are now sunny and brimming with bold forecasting. And to President Obama: The fish are off the streets and once again free to roam the sea…for now.

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